Chris: “Hey folks, I've just come back from a short cruise on the river of spiritual renewal. You might be wondering, were my goals met? Did I have that transcendent moment, the epiphany? You bet I did. You know, we men are always booking out. We join armies, baseball teams, frat houses--in my case, a monastery--all to the exclusion of our fair sisters. But let me tell you, in that segregated, celibate world of men, a divine hand reached down, grabbed me by the belt strap and gave a hard yank. To whom did this awesome hand belong? Woman. Yes, Cicely, my metaphysical moment, my revelation, was this: for me, there can be no spirituality, no sanctity, no truth without the female sex. O woman! lovely woman! Nature made thee To temper man: we had been brutes without you. Angels are painted fair, to look like you: There's in you all that we believe of heaven,-- Amazing brightness, purity, and truth, Eternal joy, and everlasting love. (Chris reads Thomas Otway: Venice Preserved. Act i. Sc. 1.)”

Chris' brother, Bernard (guest star Richard Cummings, Jr.), takes over the airwaves at KBHR, while Chris enjoys his vacation at a monastery in an effort to discover his "innermost secret center." Once there, he thoroughly enjoys his sparse surroundings and simple lifestyle until he is overcome by sexual desire for one of the monks. Having always been committed to loving women, he is completely bewildered by his own feelings.

Ruth-Anne surprises Maurice by exercising the option to buy that was included in the original lease contract for her store. Maurice, who needs to be in control of everything, becomes angr with her for asserting her freedom. The two each play Ed against the other until he takes matter into his own hands and discovers a way to convince them not to ruin their twenty-year-lon friendship.

Joel is stir crazy when two weeks pass and he does not have a single patient. He begins to beg the townspeople to schedule an appointment with him for anything - annual checkup, rash miscellaneous pain. Bernard and Marilyn both attempt to teach him to sit still, but to no avail.

Bernard fills in at the radio station for his brother.

Chris confesses to Brother Simon that he read St. Augustine in the joint, and he's been into the "philosophical, religious thing" since.

Ed came to work for Maurice when he was sixteen.

Three years ago (time must be standing still), Joel did his E.R. rotation at Bellevue.

Ruth-Anne's check when Maurice ries to put an early-payoff penalty on her.

[Help! If you know these tunes from the original TV airings, email me.]
• piano piece
[Ruth-Anne pays off Maurice for the store.]

• light piano tune
[Bernard on the air.]

• Jazzy older piece
[Maurice talks to Bernard.]

• female country singer
[Joel talks to Bernard in the Brick.]

• latin piece
[Bernard on the air, ad for Joel to look at moles.]

• country song
[Shelly and Ed talk about the Parent Trap.]

• twangy country tune
[Maurice comes into Ruth-Anne's store.]

• piano tune
[Chris talks about his trip to the monastary.]

Pink 2D cows [Shelly and Ed talk about Maurice and Ruth-Anne in the Brick.]

Ed Chigliak's Movie References:

Parent Trap (1961)

Desert Sage is the paint color Ruth-Anne wants, not Apache Tan.
Ed knows which sides Maurice and Ruth-Anne are standing when he makes his video tape...
Brother Simon's given name is Chris.

Joel: You don't think that *I* can sit for five minutes ...

Ruth-Anne's cardigan sweater (forest animals) she wears when she discusses which paint color she wants the store painted.